dare to delve below the surface….at xmas

The odd and sometimes weird but loveable historical area of  “not game to name it” Creek.

pop: all but 3 families totally insane or getting there.

We are the only small area here to suffer fire, flood and storm and tempest in such a short time. The tempest is ongoing.

Last xmas flood water was up to my waist under our house. our house is built 8ft up.

Our new road was ripped apart, our new area sign was riddled in bullet holes that same year, and this time we awoke to a  quoll a day before xmas who ate our entire chook pen apart from two. (they don’t eat them as such but its too sad to go into it) lets just say they were chicken suits when he was done.  i hope he choked.

Years ago a violent storm occurred while we were away, arriving home we found our shed roof stuck at an angle in our front garden tree trunk, right where the car would have been.

Surely its an idyllic quiet country farming community you say….steeped in quaint history and local characters? That may well be, but dare you delve slightly below the surface you will find weird oddball people, (not all of us!!!) ones that break the law (chopping down a tree for wood and the police arrive rings a bell), ones that rant and rave, some that try to get every other persons husband, some that hide their defacto in the country  and take all their money and put a pin on the phone then lock them and the baby out of the house, then as we tried to help out the mother was coming to get me… Then we have the pottery throwing couple a few years back. He also grew some questionable garden items in tractor tyres that caught the poor councilman off-guard “is that what i think it is?” These are times we wish the spare block between us and the rental was bigger….he said he was a cook but his grain bread was like a brick, and he got around in a sarong skirt…i used to hide after that. Do you blame me?

Some locals  try to burn down the community intentionally, some accidentally, then we have a town away local dump patrol elderly man, totally dump fixated and on our one neighbour who he loathes and spies on. we all have keys but leave it open, he insists driving the 10 minutes from the next town daily  to lock it. Ha ha all you non gate locking dump people. Another fellow ran over his own giant great dane early one morning, very inebriated he broke its leg. he looked after it but…what tha?…..

Today, as i quietly went about installing master 7’s new dvd drive for his dell, ( he is my techno boy) we heard a loud explosion….then my husband suddenly gets us on the intercom…did you hear that…go to the kitchen window…our neighbours ute is fully on fire, when he said it he sounded like bill and teds excellent adventure. Boys and fire…what tha?

Similar fire but much more smoke and widespread

Sure enough across the road our neighbours ute is billowing out huge clouds of black and grey smoke, inferno style….bang, a tyre explodes….now the horn is going off its nut…another tyre explodes..horn still going….husband says its the neighbours new ute about 25 grand worth our crazy other across the road neighbour offers insanely a tiny fire extinguisher, (the same sweet lady that fought tooth and nail to save a pine tree that had to go to make way for a mans house, she lost and put a cross on the stump in a ceremony that actually said RIP, the man was so freaked out by her he decided not to live here) my husband has to let her off gently…ummm…i dont think you want to get near that thing love, the heat would melt your… fire extinguisher. Her hubby is a golf tour operator to …thailand….hmmmm…. he fights all the time with ute fire neighbour over land that is not theirs but he has built his own golf course on. Hubby has nick named her banchee woman as to the rather explosively loud screechy fight over the road speed one day (thats another story)  His sons went there one day and hit all his golf balls over to grass fires house (another neighbour who you will understand his name soon) He was very upset. The land is leased by ute fire man, not golf pro man.

The horn has stopped. the smoke is a grey willow now, hubby has come in and said, its an insurance job now, the ute is now a melted shell collapsed in in their front yard..ohh my…ohh dear… ohh noo,  hah hah ha says hubby looking through the loungeroom window…someone has called the fire brigade, he is laughing hysterically as the ute is

already out but here is the rescue, we can put out the … smoke… At least we now know the response time if we have to call one day…..which nearly happened a while back when our late young ” Im just like you i can light a firebreak too” neighbour but had no idea, really, and it got out of control…he was inside doing whatever he did (we wont ever go there…ever….) and my husband called him up “umm, your house is nearly on fire mate”. It had got out across their yard, burnt all the grass in the back and was now swinging around towards the back and side stairs. saved by a phone call and a patch of concrete at bottom of stairs. So close to freedom for us…thats not a nice way to think …but…we did call, and he lit a im a country man firebreak and left it.

His partner was constantly trying to get everyone’s husbands interested. Our friend from Brisbane was visiting one time and they were having a coffee outside unseen when they heard a loud fight “yeah….(abusive words) why dont you go and ( rude word for love) next door” reply: ” i will go and ….(rude word for love) (my hubbys name here) at least he cares….”this was told to me later and i laughed my guts out , as this was the same young 21 year old who used to put on her best skimpiest dress when he went outside and changed from the trackie dacks she had just been in, also very funny to me, hubby used to sneak inside and tell me he felt sick and violated….we use to cack over it together, good entertainment anyway.

The funniest issue in recent times was when my mother in law stripped shreds off the grass fire boy who dared to swear at her after he cut all her fence posts off at the ground because he was too lazy to pull them out. He broke his mower blades on the stumps, we heard him curse, and was later forced to replace all $250.00 worth of posts…and blades.

The fence he and his dad built (for the  dog they never got) in place of the one that was already ok to add wire to, is now a weedy sagging mess because they had no idea how to build a fence. They also now have to pay the council alot of money as they let the grass grow too high to be mowed…. it was a jungle. Giant snakes come out all the time and i am sure one of our neighbours is lost in there) They had to get in huge machinery to slash it. Funnily enough, ute fire man did it as he is a contractor for this in our area. The lady they let rent the house for free stole alot of stuff and did burn outs at two in the morning and had a massive swearing fight at the same time. Its overgrown again.

Someone has just stacked our sons chopper in the drive, my sons face is covered in tim tam cornetto and i am content that another day in ….no i cant say it yet still to embarrassed… Creek is drawing near, and another year. i wonder what will happen this next year? We’ll have to wait and see. For now my son has gone nerf mad.

theres kitchennerf….

cupboardnerf…..

fridgenerf…..

fridgenerf2…..

sodastreamnerf…..

and here too………………..

microwavenerf…..

trashnerf…..

telephonepantrynerf?…..

we are pleased at least the house a block away is no longer for rent and very empty. For now…….

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